I spent the entire Tuesday, fighting a terrible cold thanks to the random weather change in my town. Evening, I had a friend’s birthday do. Barely got any writing done and kept thinking what my next post should be about. At the party I got into a conversation with a friend about state of affairs in regards to “respect/safety” for women in India. This conversation stemmed from what I was wearing.
When I got home, I was thinking about that conversation and many more conversations/arguments regarding the same with a lot of different men including my dad. I realised, this also is a kind of fad! Disrespecting women, rape, molestation, eve teasing, abusing, beating it’s all a fad! It’s the new thing that gets these men in the news and the laws let them scot free. Definitely not the kind of fashion you and I are into, but a certain morbid, twisted sort that seems to be on the rise!
I have spent a lot of time mulling over it, watching documentaries, reading articles, open letters, speaking to men. Everyone is sympathetic towards us, most men feel and know what is happening is wrong, and needs to change but also beneath everything lies a harsh truth. All of these men, be it your friend, your father , your brother or husband, may be a very tiny part of them probably 0.00001 %, but that very minuscule part of them do believe it is your fault! Is it?!
They will stand by you, fight for you with all their might, but they do believe your dress was too short, you shouldn’t have been walking alone, you shouldn’t have fought with that guy who was eve-teasing. It is the same men who will put their heart and soul to make sure you are safe and protected, so then how can they not understand ?! Why are they defending that man who has wronged you by saying “he was staring because you are wearing shorts” ! Why?!!!!
When I was put on this earth, there was no rule book that said men can scratch their crotch in public but I can’t adjust my bra. A man can flex his repulsive man boobs on the beach but a woman with a bikini will be the one calling for trouble! Who made these rules?! Who decides what is acceptable and what isn’t?!
A lot of times, when I try to argue about this, I am told, don’t talk unless you can begin to make a difference yourself! Ok, so being educated, from affluent families, after accepting that this is an issue, you still don’t want me to step out in “shorts” but go and speak to rural, uneducated men and try to change their thinking?!
This, isn’t a city or a country problem, it is a culture and upbringing problem. Honestly, when I think about it, I see no light, no hope! Men, no matter how close to you will never understand the humiliation that you go through every single time that roving eye is caught staring at your breasts covered under layers of clothing or your bare legs. The only way they would ever feel the pain is if they are re-born as a woman! Is it a curse to be a woman?!
What we should really be teaching the next generation ….
Women are prettier versions of men with breasts and a vagina, instead of a penis! Everything else is the same! If you hit them, they will hit you back! If you touch them, they will break your arm! If you stare at them, they will spray pepper in your eyes! They can carry a baby in their womb for 9 months, walk around in 6 inches heels after a legs day! They are way stronger than you! If you want you can be a little scared of them, but make sure you never try to play them! They are not objects, treat them well or they will make your life miserable!